The Press Conference of Naruto Uzumaki
by Once Was AHR
Summary: Naruto has a big announcment to tell the world! What could it be? OneShot. First Fanfiction!


It was an interesting phenomenon really. One minute everyone was going about their business, next minute a fifteen in an orange jumpsuit appeared out of nowhere. To most people in New York City, he appeared to be just some blonde loon. But some people recognized him.

He was Naruto Uzumaki. And he had an announcement.

2 weeks later he stood confidently in a large auditorium. New York had been very kind to him, and he was absolutely littered with T-Shirts, Sunglasses and other trinkets. To the left side, Scientists were busy calculating. How the hell did a Manga character from JAPAN end up, real, alive and in New York City? He had already displayed his Sexy Jutsu, (Which not only confirmed his existence, but also had some surprisingly large nosebleeds).

Behind This Naruto Uzumaki, stood the main cast of Naruto, over the two weeks they had appeared out of nowhere, causing some distress, but also a great amount of fangirlism. Now, as Naruto Stood behind the microphone, he knew what he had to say. He knew what he had to silence. And he had to do it soon.

Within the minute of opening, the auditorium filled up completely, and even then Naruto could see an even larger crowd outside. Someone had had the bright idea to hang out pins. Shipping Pins. Naruto would later find out it was Jiraiya. But until then, he would only wonder how lucky he could get.

"Hello New York' Tebayo!" He said cautiously. Some of the American shippers tilted there head. Tebayo? What was that? And why was he wearing a black and orange jumpsuit and not the blue and orange jumpsuit? Other people cheered. These were the ones that rather despised the English dub and would watch the shows in Japanese on the internet.

The two largest groups were two shipping groups. NaruHina and NaruSaku. They looked at each other, would he announce who he had chosen? Would it be their ship? Or the other one?

Hinata and Sakura stood backstage. They were a bit nervous about this. Naruto had just left, claiming he needed to silence a specific ship. He didn't say anything else. Sakura sighed. If anything, SHE should be up there. She was paired with everyone for god's sake! But Naruto…well he was paired with almost everyone as well, but at least not Akatsuki members…I think.

The SasuNaru shippers shifted nervously. Was this the end? They all knew Naruto couldn't REALLY be with Sasuke...could he? They did kiss…by accident.

Naruto took another deep breath. "I am pretty good when it comes to crazy shipping. Heck, at times, I even understand SasuNaru! Dattebayo!" At this point there was a wild outburst from these specified shippers. Naruto himself had just sort of almost confirmed it!

"However" He continued after the cheers and the occasional anti-yaoi cry, "There was one Ship I saw that was not canon. Well, of course almost all of my shipping is Fanon' Tebayo! But, this one ship had such an enormous fan club. I think it actually might be one of the biggest ships I've ever seen. And I knew at that moment I had to sink it before anyone got hurt." Naruto said, surprisingly serious.

Everyone fell silent. Only the three main ships, NaruSaku, NaruHina and SasuNaru sat confidently. _Their_ ships were all canon. Mostly.

Naruto opened his mouth. "The ship that I would like all to know would never happen, and you should stop being delusional is…"

Even the backstage Naruto characters listened eagerly. Only Shikamaru seemed to be paying absolutely no attention at all. However only Chouji realized Shikamaru had not fallen asleep, and was actually listening intently. As troublesome as it was even _he_ wanted to know which ship Naruto cast aside.

"NaruHina"

The Auditorium broke into chaos. The NaruSaku shippers cried a victory cry so loud that the citizens across the street heard it. They had won. Naruto didn't like Hinata! Naruto didn't like Hinata! The words felt so sweet on the tongues. They had won!

The NaruHina shippers were a wreck. How could this happen? How had they lost? How could Naruto not like Hinata? What went wrong?

Naruto chuckled. "See how hopeless it is' Tebayo?"

Louder cheers.

"I have more of a chance to end up with _Sasuke _then her!"

Even louder cheers.

"Hell, Hinata doesn't even _like_ me!"

An ice cold silence fell over the crowd. Like poison. Hinata not liking Naruto? What? He liked her since episode one. No…could it be? Could Naruto….not know?

Naruto, not noticing the silence went on. "Sure, I promised to avenge her once, but If Neji had beaten up anyone else I would have promised to avenge them as well! Besides, Doesn't Kiba and Shino like her or something?"

Hinata felt like she was in a horrible nightmare. Did Naruto just publicly sink her ship? Her favorite Ship? Then he said _she_ didn't like _him_.

Finally someone stood up. She was not a NaruHina shipper, or even a Naru-anything. She was a KibaShino shipper. A small yaoi group that believed the dog and bug boys should be together. And obviously, if Hinata didn't end up with Naruto…

"Why don't you ask her?" She cried out, in one last attempt to save her beloved ship.

Naruto blinked in astonishment. "Uhm…ok!" He said. "Oi! Hinata! Can you come out here' Tebayo?"

Hinata slowly made her way to the platform her feet getting shakier with every step. "Naruto-kun" She began, but Naruto cut her off.

"Sorry about this confusion Hinata! Must be embarrassing to keep being paired up with me' Tebayo! Don't worry; you just say Kiba, Shino…or Neji, or whoever you like up there ok?" Naruto said cheerfully. He stepped off the stage and decided to go and find Sakura. She would probably hit him, for no good reason, but it was just one of the reasons he loved her more.

Hinata stepped up to the microphone. She Began to feel woozy. She was going to faint soon. She knew it.

Kiba and Shino both looked eagerly on (Although, it was hard to tell with Shino, with most of his face covered up.)

The building was silent. What would she say? What would happen?

However at that moment a crowd burst in. Not of Naruto fans, but of Naruto creators. They couldn't let ANY spoilers get out. With some oddly shaped machines they began to trap the Naruto characters, one by one.

Hinata swayed heavily. "I like…I like…" She said so quietly. She only had one chance. And right before she fainted, she uttered the words:

"Naruto-Kun!"

Unfortunately, Everyone had heard this _except_ for Naruto who had been the first to disappear.

And to this day, Naruto remains oblivious to Hinata, and continues to try and woo Sakura.


End file.
